Are you a People Pleaser?
I am not sure if I would call it people pleaser in the case our friend Ryan Biddulph writes about. If we follow our hearts, our intuition we often feel if something is not going to work out. It is good to keep posture.
Trying To Please everyone is a recipe for stress, misery, and frustration. Be yourself it’ll be good to know who’s down with that.- Unknown
I just experienced something similar and a friend asked me for a favor, but I felt right away that it will not work out and said ” no”. I trusted my intuition, kept my attitude,” posture.” Good, he knows me and agreed when I explained. We often want to do things to please others. But if we listen to our intuition and it does not feel right, we better let go and have posture.
Let’s see Ryan’s story and his experience with wanting to please people and having posture.
Thank you, Ryan
Do You Have Posture or Are You a People Pleaser?
I almost never do video or audio interviews.
I engineered my blogging life – and offline life – to be where I almost never stare at a clock or calendar for anything. Freedom for me is making time absolutely no object. I definitely work quite a bit but virtually always when I want to work, where I want to work from.
My blogging income is 100% passive these days. I do not coach clients at specific times or brainstorm with bloggers at specific times. Point blank; I never use an alarm clock and routinely forget what day it is.
But I broke my rule and attempted to please someone recently because the individual persistently wanted to interview me. We emailed back and forth for a bit over weeks to find an ideal time. After canceling an initial call because my internet seemed too poor I considered not doing the interview but a part of me felt guilty because it seemed as if he really wanted to do the interview. Rare lack of posture for me.
Against my intuitive nudges, I scheduled the interview. Sure enough, after ensuring I was home to do the interview at a set time, after 5 minutes the interview session did not go down. I emailed the individual politely letting him know I was on for 5 minutes but I assumed he had tech problems because he never started the meeting. Also, I informed him I may or may not reschedule and also, to enjoy his week. I genuinely have no issue with him because he seems awesome. But I keenly observed how my intuition told me, again and again, to have posture, to not reply to his requests, and to simply stop being a people pleaser in this rare instance because I continue to observe evidence that the interview is not meant to happen.
A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind. – Morihei Ueshiba
99% of the time I have posture. I design my day around fun, freedom, and flat out calling the shots. Unless a trusted friend pitches me the opportunity I turn down almost all audio or video interview requests because I dislike needing to do anything at a specific time. I almost always have a posture in releasing requests but let people-pleasing call the shots for this single request hanging in the balance for roughly 2-3 months now, between emails and multiple calls I had to reschedule.
I deeply appreciate all opportunities flowing to me but freedom means working when I wish to work to generate passive blogging income versus needing to be in one spot at a specific time to earn my bread or to do interviews.
Have posture. Build your life by design. Create your life made to order. Develop a sense of confidence in yourself. Gain clarity in all you do. Having posture simply means being confident, clear, and trusting in the face of fear. Cheap potential clients may try to bargain with you. Be posturing. Ignore their bartering emails or block the bartering emails entirely. Never negotiate your rates. Do you run a serious online or offline business or manage a stall in a Middle Eastern souq? Negotiating should never be done for most business models because it is an inefficient waste of time between two people who fear losing money.
“If you’re trying to please everyone, then you’re not going to make anything that is honestly yours, I don’t think, in the long run.” – Viggo Mortensen
Take it or leave it
Have posture. I adopt a “take it or leave it” approach to my blog and business. Either buy my eBooks and courses at full price or leave ‘em both. Ditto for my advertising options. Pay the full price or exit stage left. As a time-saving measure, I explicitly warn potential clients how I instantly block all bartering-bargaining emails. Sure enough, folks either ignore the warning message or believe I am bluffing but I block every single person who thinks I am kidding and attempts to barter my price.
Good posture and an attitude let you get away with anything. – Lorna Landvik
Stop trying to make people happy. Stop trying to bend over backward to make people feel good. Have posture. People pleasers pay a stiff price because ignoring what you value to make someone happy ends in disappointment. Trying to make people happy guarantees you lose your identity, dissolve your confidence, and muddle your clarity.
Have posture. Make yourself happy to where you love and accept yourself. From there, you will stop trying to please people and align with more resonant folks who love your posturing, abundant delivery.
Do you slam into folks trying to tell you to not live your dreams?
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See also > Does It Try to Scare You or Love You
What about you? Do you try to please people?
Did Ryans’ story make you think?
Please share your experience with us in a comment.
Also: How would you like 5 of the world’s top transformational experts to guide you on how to welcome more love, wealth, good health, and happiness into your life?
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